palm seems to have done well for itself today. i of course didn’t get in on it, but i do have a tiny bit of 3com that i bought in 1998. it’s was a poor performer, until i checked back on my inactive datek account and was stunned to see it doing… well.

i’m now officially skipping my sculpture class (2-5pm). i’m still working on my design/cutlist. that means i have tomorrow afternoon, saturday, and monday morning to finish all my woodworking.

nasa may deliberately crash galileo in 2002 to avoid possible bacterial of contamination after it’s complete its extended mission. in other news…

Crash Galileo into Europa as Pre-Emptive Strike

Scientists warn we shouldn’t rev ourselves into a tizzy over this. Any life on Europa, they assure us, is of the single-celled variety, at best. Of course, such a declaration is clearly just a smokescreen to prevent us from reaching the obvious conclusion: At this very moment, super-intelligent giant squid have their siege-rockets poised beneath Europa?s half-mile ice shell, ready to launch their imperialist onslaught. These sub-mariner beasts intend to take control of our peace-loving planet and mine us for the rich iron supplies stored in our hemoglobin. Yes, the jovian devil-fish plan to render our blood for precious structural iron, needed to build more of their planet-hoppers. Their ultimate plan: To flood the canals of Mars as a space-squid vacation resort.

At night I can hear the transmissions from their communications satellites resonating in my fillings; the hideous, scheming clacking of their beaks has rendered sleep an unattainable fantasy. They intend to devour our dogs whole and use our sports-utility vehicles as punch-bowls for their post-conquest banquet. They monitor our radio transmissions, love our mariachi music, and yet despise our hip-hop. These are truly monsters.

How long will the scientific community continue to feign ignorance of this exo-cephalopodic threat looming under Europa?s dark plutonian shores? And how long will it be until our own squid– trusted friend and snack– turn on us? As the first earth-dweller to fully recognize the very real threat of worldwide Europan conquest, I enjoin you: We must take up arms against this sea of troubles, and by opposing, end it.